Wednesday, August 15th 2018

Alienation of Affection: Suing the Homewrecker that Destroyed Your Marriage

How many women – or men for that matter – cheered for joy when they read or heard of Cynthia Shackelford’s successful suit where she was rewarded $9M from “the other woman” this March? After all, who ever heard of filing a tort action, called alienation of affection, for money damages  against the third party in one’s deteriorating marriage?

Certainly not Elin Nordegren or Sandra Bullock, who unfortunately for them live in states that no longer recognize this tort action.

Alienation of affection suits are quite rare because – as of 2003 – just eight states recognized this as a legal cause of action. Alienation of affection still appears to be a legal cause of action in the following states: Hawaii, Illinois , Mississippi, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota and Utah. The other 42 states started to abolish this tort action beginning in 1935, deeming it a an archaic but legal way to exact revenge.

But let’s get back to basics.

An alienation of affection lawsuit is one in which a deserted spouse can sue the alleged third party if his or her partner leaves the relationship for another person and causes the marital relationship to fail. To prevail on the claim, the plaintiff needs to prove that:

  • Love between the married spouses existed prior to the onset of the relationship; and
  • The marital love was alienated and destroyed as a result of the relationship with the third-party; and
  • The third party’s conduct was a malicious interference with the marital relationship.

The plaintiff need not prove that the third party set out to destroy the marriage. It is enough to show that she or he engaged in conduct that was foreseeable to impact the relationship in a negative manner.

The defendant in these cases can protect him or herself from the claim through several recognized defenses including:

  • The Defendant lacked knowledge of the spouse’s marital status
  • The Defendant was not the aggressor in the relationship with the spouse.
  • The Plaintiff’s spouse was so unhappy in the marital relationship that it negated the love between the married spouses.

And, it turns out, adulterous homewreckers aren’t the only ones that need to fear these suits in the eight states that still recognize them because the deserted spouse does not need to prove extramarital sexual contact. The defendant in an alienation of affections suit is typically an adulterous spouse’s lover; however, family members, counselors, therapists or clergy members who have advised a spouse to seek divorce may also be named in such suits.

These suits are not out of the ordinary in North Carolina, where an estimated 200 suits per year are filed and where several suits in the last decade resulted in awards of more than $1 million. The alienation of affection and accompanying criminal conversion causes of action are vigorously criticized by many legal scholars and trial lawyers, who see this as providing a judicial mechanism for personal vengeance. Supporters argue that the statute is necessary to protect traditional marital relationships.

What is your stance on the matter? Would you sue an adulterer for money damages? Why or why not?

Posted by Krystyna on April 22, 2010 at 12:52pm.

97 Responses to “Alienation of Affection: Suing the Homewrecker that Destroyed Your Marriage”

  1. [...] Alienation of Affection: Suing the Homewrecker that Destoryed Your Marriage | LegalFish: The Daily T… [...]

  2. avatar Jennifer says:

    Last I checked it took two people to be in an affair. This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of. Scorned women (or men) move on with your life and get over it.

  3. avatar Latrese says:

    i don’t care if he and she make any attempt to step out their marriage, the homewrecker should know not to get themselves involve with that married man or women even if that married man or woman makes advances towards them. A homewrecker know when and how to prey on the weak and the vulnerable and the only one thats hurting at the end is the spouse at home. At least the hurting spouse will get something out the deal. If you know this person is married, my advice is don’t fall for them and please don’t go there!!

  4. avatar Whatjusthappened says:

    I agree with Latrese, believe it or not a perfectly happy marriage can be ripped to shreads by one of these people. And a marriage that has been amazingly wonderful for 13 years can be lost in 13 days when you meet one of these people. They knew what they were doing from the moment they laid eyes on your spouse. Someone lusting over a man non-stop can make even the most loyal man go astray. I say sue the home wrecker at least their name will be out there for public record and then everyone can know that the home wrecking wh_ _ _ is close by and who to watch out for.

  5. avatar Watchful eye says:

    The homewrecker is not the one that preys on marriages ALL the time. Some people grow apart, fall out of love. If a man/woman loved their spouse unconditionally, NO ONE would be able to break up that home. Most people in marriages need to do some soul searching and stop blaming EVERYONE/ANYONE for YOUR failure!!! “Homewreckers” are not the cause of most marriages ending in DIVORCE!!! It is the weak cheating spouse that has no SELF control OR the poor little innocent spouse that stopped doing what they’ve been doing in the being of the marriage. NO ONE IS TO BLAME BUT THE TWO PEOPLE THAT VOWED TO BE COMMITTED!!!

  6. avatar Brandon Webb says:

    In my opinion, tort claims of this nature really discredit and dishonor courts, judges, and lawyers who participate in such a charade.

    Jennifer is absolutely right, it takes two willing parties to engage in an affair.

    When an affair occurs and if alientation of affection exists, it is the person involved in the marriage engaged in the affair who is alienating affection as the third party has no obligation nor have they entered into a contract with either party of the marriage to love, honor, or cherish.

    It is flat out absurd to consider the thought of third party liability in relation to infidelity. For an extra-marital affair to occur, one party in the marriage has to make a conscious decision and consent to engage in the affair; otherwise, the act may be CRIMINAL.

    If we are really interested in addressing the divorce rate in this country let’s start with the blatantly biased family court system that has established a highly effective financial incentive program virtually encouraging divorce.

  7. avatar serge says:

    I think such laws directly go against freedom of expression. That said, I also think anybody who goes after someone else’s spouse is acting with extreme disregard for the emotions of the person they hope will get dumped. What a horrific nightmare to try to bring about in somebody’s life!!! Homewreckers who wreck reasonably happy homes are sociopaths. I see no way around that. A person with a conscience does not want the innocent to experience Hell on Earth. Period.

  8. avatar Brenda says:

    I think all states should allow this. a large percentage of the time is the homewrecker that wants to demolish a home because of jealousy and they have nothing going for them.

  9. avatar My 2 cents says:

    I just had to comment on this post since I do live in MS which is one of the states that recognizes this suit and am currently in the middle of a divorce. I believe if every state still had this law in effect there would be a lot less people willing to cheat with married people for fear of being sued and having their name smeared all over town. I was cheated on my someone who I considered a friend of mine. Her ex cheated on her and it’s been 4 years and she still whines about it but yet she did it to me?? Good thing is she has lots on money and I plan on getting some of it…..she is a cheating homewrecker and she can have the sorry loser but she will pay!!

  10. avatar william wallace says:

    why get married if you are not sure? why not get a divorce if you are unhappy and want to explore other possibilities? im in favor of a law that holds dishonorable people accountable for being liars. why should they be rewarded with the blessings of a new life for not honoring a promise they made before god and family? selfish lying hedinistic adulterers that only care about their own pleasure and well being at the cost of their partners and childrens futures.

  11. avatar Liz says:

    Extramarital affairs are part of human society (It does not mean I condone them, but we need to consider what the facts are). Whether in strict Islamic dominated cultures or here in the US, where divorce laws could be considered “liberal.” Most of them keep on going silently, between “normal” people. That is, most affairs do not involve lawyers, or even are known to anyone other than the people who are involved. While there is sexual activity involved, in the great majority of cases I studies, sexual desires by themselves are NOT the fundamental driver in extramarital affairs. “Lust” is too simple a word. What most people involved in extramarital affairs are experiencing is some form of “emptiness.” I used this word because “dissatisfaction” could imply fault on another party or that satisfaction depends on somebody else. Having an affair is not the ultimate solution, but doing so can appear to the people involved that they have sought some relief. No one is responsible for or can rectify another person’s feeling empty. Although we hear a lot of heart wrenching stories, many of the silent ones, are seen as “one way to KEEP the marriage together” by the straying spouse. The spouse that is having affair is in somewhat dissatisfied, to a degree that he or she cannot overcome with his or her emotional awareness and aptitude to adjust, and that spouse is trying to find an “outlet.” The great majority of cases that I studied, there is not a third party out there “preying” on a “victim” spouse. To the degree that the spouse being cheated on did not instigate the affair, that spouse feels “victimized.” The third party, if aware of the marriage, and the straying spouse are trying to make belief there is more gain than loss, in terms of emotional adjustments, among the three parties. They view their needs, which are real, although not always accurately understood, are in conflict with the society’s rules. In most cases, they believe the societal rules are “too general” to take into account of the specific human needs involved.
    The difficulty in terms of law is how to define being “criminal” since there is no contract between a third party and the spouse whose husband or wife is having an affair.

  12. avatar Countrygal699 says:

    Well me and my husband have been married for almost two years. I know what its like to be deserted by your spouce. A “homewrecker”, or someone that splits up your marriage, and knows he/she is married in my oppinion should have known better to mess with a married man/ or woman, and should have to pay the price. You shouldn’t get married if your not sure, or grown up enough to except responibilies. But if you take the step to get married you should not abandon your responsibilies as a spouce. Marriage should not be takin lightly.

  13. avatar James says:

    I’m currently going thru this this guy started texting my wife sexually ecology crap and she started to answer him back. And now that I’ve read that virginia has this law and was used no more than 6 montes ago I think I’ll do the same!

  14. avatar betrayed11 says:

    I’m going through this with my husband. Yes he was WEAK at a vulnerable time of his life.He lost his mother to cancer & had a lot of guilt.This homewrecker lives in Va. She is a very good maniplulator/talker.If he changed his number & block her from facebook,& lose her number, we’d be fine. I think these laws would be great in every state. I think if there were consequences for their actions there would be less affairs. If they are so unhappy, let them file for divorce FIRST, then look for something new.I really believe if there were consequences,these people wouldn’t chase after married people.I would support these laws cause they would think before doing.Even if these laws were put/kept in place for all states.The thought of the possibilty of being sued should scare’em enough to think before doing it.This is just my opinnion.THINK!!!!

  15. avatar Robin says:

    I have one for you. I was connected through Facebook by my first boyfriend, since that time we have talked to only discover that his mother , whom I was very close to is dying, he lost his job and as he stated was in a marriage only for convenience. Since that time I has confessed his love for me and that he made a mistake 23 years ago when he left me for his now current wife, due to a unplanned pregnancy. Well, long story short, he has pursued me constantly and I have told him no that he needs to try and make his marriage work. He since has filed separation papers and the wife is now stating she is gonna sue me. The time Span five weeks and she wants to sue me for a failed marriage and a husband who obiviously is distraught over numerous things. I could see her frustration if I was seeking him, in this case he is the aggressor and yet I am considered third party to this event just by trying to befriend someone who I thought needed a friend in a time of need. Home wrecker I am not, yet what happens in this case. I think the law needs to be revisited because I see the use in malicious and intentional situations.

  16. avatar Mya says:

    I have no problem with this law, especially since I plan to use it. If you know someone is married and still living with their spouse and haven’t been seperated for more than 6mos then thats on you. No need to play stupid now that you know you have to pay up.

  17. avatar aurorab says:

    Marriage is a contract and like all contracts should be subject to consequences if broken. This includes people trying to break up the contract, it’s the same in many businesses. I think more states should have these types of laws and be as harsh as North Carolina. In some countries you can go to jail (many Arab countries), and I think these laws should be international.

    If other woman gets pregnant she can still get child support (international-though that is harder) even if she screwing a married man. Personally, in these cases there should be more laws she(he where applicable) is guilty of, like theft, emotional distress to betrayed spouse and to children from the marriage. Lots more to think about where others do not think.

  18. avatar Lynne says:

    I find it interesting this law. I’m from Illinois and just discovered this. I have to agree it takes 2 that is why you can go after both. In my case my spouse whom we are still married but in process of divorce had an affair with a 24 year old, now let me tell you his oldest child is 25 now, so that tells you his age round about, this led to a pregnancy which he stated simply it was only one time. Well last week they just had their second child, the first one is only 10 months! She has a history of going after married men, not the first or second or third time of her doing this! So tell me she doesn’t need to learn a lesson! She has hurt many married couples and destroyed my family. I am really thinking hard about using this law in my divorce case. We punish someone when they steal and this is no different, she stole!

  19. avatar Jealous... says:

    My husband and I have been married for 5 1/2 yrs. Now. In 2010 we had our first child. I am not the one up for drama. Back in june he was connected by a high school girlfriend claiming they have an 8yr old son via facebook (home wrecking site). This girl told me that she wanted to wait until my husband got married to tell him this. This hoe has been all on my page comparing herself to me. She lies to every one even sent my husband a pic of her va-jj. All of a sudden 8 yrs later she juss has to have my husband in that child’s life. She even divorced her husband who raised this boy because he did not want my husband in the pic because he raised that boy. which I agree. He raised that boy. My husband knows I’ve only been with guys without kids because of the baby mama drama. (perfect example). I love my husband but if that boy is his I may leave. I dont want to go to jail because I will strangle this homewrecking hoe. She wants him back. I don’t want this drama we were great until this she-devil. And what’s funny is the same thing happened to my best friend earlier this year. Facebook helps home wreckers ruin a happy home!!

  20. avatar America is Immature! says:

    When are people going to grow up? If a MARRIED man has an affair and goes off with an UNMARRIIED woman, then he is the one who is cheating. If a husband loves his wife then he is faithful, if he can be tempted then that is his fault, not the wife nor the mistress. Your husband went off with someone else, what is hurt, your pride. In a divorce, presumably, a fair division of marital assets would be made, but to sue the girlfriend for millions is pathetic and sad. You cant force someone to love you, to stay with you, and if you could, would you want to. Have some dignity. The American justice system is a joke.

  21. avatar Michael says:

    I think the law should be even harsher, There seems to always be someone willing to take whats not theirs. You want a wife get your own you want a husband get your own. I live in North Carolina, I’m at the start of this night mare for me. My wife is in the bed of a married man tonight. My wife is married to me and this guy is married to his wife, There is no shame. I tonight am alone while another man has my wife. The full force of the law should be allowed to merit a little justice. They have ground me to powder. This Law is no joke. Make it stronger.

  22. avatar Latisha says:

    I want to thank you all , you just stopped a lot of tears. I waited till I was 32 to get married and find the right one and have a child , my husband is in his 50s and only wanted one child , even thow i wanted more , we have been married for 6 yrs , then this woman who had a vandetta against me got with my husband and got pregnant and is suing him for child support . She is 36 yrs old and this is her only child even thow she was in a relationship with other men . She calls and SMS both of us and our family all the time as to rub this in my face. I’ve tryed to salvage my marriage for our son but I just can’t . I have hurd to many horra stories of wives having to pay child support and i wont do it .Me and my son are the ones who really lose, but I think she should suffer too along with him for being stupid . Thank you all !

  23. avatar Haynes says:

    I agree, my husband and i lived in NY
    Lived together for six years. He was offered another
    Job out of state. However I have been at my jb for
    21yrs. We always talked about moving out of
    State, however we decided he should take this jb
    It was a perfect opportunity for him and the
    Our family. I also thought about me, if I mk
    This move w/him I would like us to get married
    Being that I was leaving my jb, and i
    Was taking my daughter to another state.
    My daughter is his stepdaughter. Well he moved
    First while i stayed in NY to pack and get
    Things together, I traveled back and forth
    To see him, helped him find a place, getting
    Settled into the new environment. He started his
    Job in Dec 2011 we got married in April
    2011, my job in NY gave us party, w/wonderful
    Gifts and lots of blessings from friends and
    Family. We went Panama City to celebrate
    Our marriage, it was great. I went back
    To NY, my job new I was leaving, then
    I noticed a change in June, he was not
    Answering his ph, until the next Morning,
    The calls stopped coming in, in my gut
    I knew something was wrong. Well I
    Went to where he lived I needed to find out
    Was was going on, he said he wanted his
    Space.which was bull——, I remember
    When I was visiting him in June while he
    Was at work, I would go to the pool to
    Sit and relax, and this woman would come
    And go in the jacuzzi and sit there and
    Look at me, i was thinking to myself
    Why is this woman looking at me,so
    Hard , she would be there for 5min
    And leave. Come to find out the woman
    He is/with Della Upshaw from Columbus
    GA,her neice was the lady at the pool,
    So she would come to check me out
    For her Aunt. And they all live in the
    Same complex. They always saw me
    And my husband together, I tell you God
    Does not approve of this, when I found out
    About the affair he lost his jb that next
    Day, Della on the other hand opened a
    Quick door for him, providing luxury cars
    For him, fixed it where he could receive
    A paycheck every month, so him being
    Who he is thinking about only himself
    Is with her, mean while I already left
    My job, I had to enroll my daughter in
    A different school, I wad heartbroken
    To know end, I was admitted to the hospital
    For the stress.I could go on, the point I am
    Making is yes I will blame the other woman
    Because she knew he was married and knew
    He had a stepdaughter, and saw me
    Alot, and her niece. They had a plan
    And yes he will be held accountable
    From the higher up, devils come in
    Many faces, to end this story we have not
    Divorced yet, he sends me e-mails and
    Saying that he did things for the wrong
    Reasons,which is crap, he 56yrs old
    He knows exactly what he did, and
    Della Upshaw as well. I have faith
    So I know God will work this out.


  24. avatar dragonwing says:

    I found out 3 weeks ago my husband was having an affair for the past 2 years. I know something was wrong and he was pulling away from me, but didn’t know why. Because I work in a job that requires travel I cut back on my hours hoping that this would allow us work things out, but he was always absent even when he was there. My husband and I deeply loved each other-although we had difficulties as any long term relationship we always worked them out. When I uncovered this affair and the evidence was indisputable he was faced with me screaming in the worst pain and leaving him cold. It got real, and he realized he doesn’t want to lose what we had. I thought he was full of ….it when he said he was seduced. Then I found out who it was. She is the most aggressively horny women I ever met and it is well known among the other women in the group organization we belong to. He told me everything in hopes I would stay. I don’t know if I can- I’m going to try- we are going to counseling, I’ve lost time from work (and I am the main income for us). I am depressed and now need to take medicine- and am losing weight when I don’t need to-I am worried for my overall health and survival. I am a dam wreck. She is dangerous and assaulted my family. A person can be arrested for assault for even saying they are going to punch you -why shouldn’t someone who has initiated such damage and pain with an assault against a marriage, be held accountable-trust me my husband is being held accountable. If I am able to overcome this enough not to leave-our marriage, my life and my health will never be the same.

  25. avatar SoSad says:

    Why are women so pitiful nowadays? (Or even men for that matter). If your spouse is straying then apparently they do not want you and you are not giving them what they need at home. Why do you blame the 3rd person? If anything, the law should say that if your spouse has an affair, you should get every single thing in your pending divorce (the house, cars, alimony, etc..). But why go after a 3rd party to sue for money? It’s not their fault. They made no vow with you! You made the vow with your spouse. North Carolina and the rest of you that still have that law, shame on you. Even the lawyers say shame on you (of course, except for the lawyers who are getting money from you to file the suits). The law was made because women were considered PROPERTY of their men!!! Well, I’m sorry but I will never call myself property or consider myself property to any man!! I have 8 or 9 married men under my belt (so to speak) and they all came to me for one thing….better sex! Sex should be getting better and more uninhibited as you get older. It should not become a boring chore. And now, if my man ever decides to cheat on me, I will blame myself and him…not a woman he chose to have an affair with. If he chooses to be with someone else, so be it. Life is too short and I won’t shed a tear for him. There are other fish in the sea! Good day!

  26. avatar Stephanie says:

    Absolutely in favor of it…I think if you want to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, find someone who is available. Do not wreck someone’s family. There is no need to maliciously take away from someone what is rightfully theirs. I believe in a taste of one’s own medicine, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, that works, the rest doesn’t. Being nice to people out to get you and being an indifferent doormat never works.

    I knew a girl who had two boyfriends, but they agreed upon this, and both were single. There was no game-playing. At least the guy at the bar after a one-night stand is not a liar who interferes with other people’s marriages and relationships, if that is your thing. Monogamy is monogamy.

  27. avatar Heartbroken says:

    I am from NC and am in favor and will be using this law soon. Those who are not or never had to go throught this instead of putting your negative 2cents just be thankful you never experienced. Yea it takes too thats why you sue the mistress and make sure you present your evidence against your spouse because in divorce court this will play a big part in your alimony. Some people say move on. It’s hard especially if you are religious and when you stood before God and said til death do us part and forsaken all others I meant it and he didn’t. In my situation its not fair that he goes off and makes a life with the next chick when 8 months ago we lost our daughter. It’s hard to move on when you dedicated your life to your marriage. How do you pick up the pieces. For me dating isn’t an option because if I wanted to date then I never would have married. I got married with the intent of this being “til death do us part”. I feel like this is fraud. We stood before family and friends and pledged our love to one another. Family and friends traveled, got hotels, bought expensive gifts, and lots of money from my parents went into the wedding just for him to have cheated. It’s not fair. It’s not fair that he abandoned me only for us to get evicted while I was preggo while he sleeping with her. It’s just not fair that this chick brags about it on her fb and flaunts her pregnancy of her twins with my husband. Yes this law should apply everyone and I wish it had harsher consequences to it. It’s not ok to play with God. That’s why I’m so disturbed because people won’t break laws in fear of going to jail but you would break one of his commandments. Both parties should get the worst punishment allowed. My life is in a mess over something I didn’t do nor had control over. If he didn’t want to be married I would have respected him coming to me like a man. But instead I find out through her bragging on fb.

  28. avatar tony says:

    i find most of these comments very interesting. As i plan to pursue an alienation of affection lawsuit.

  29. [...] Becky may sue Jessica Dorrell under Arkansas Home Wrecker law!Seems Jessica didn’t consider that Arkansas has a law for Alienation of Affection. Turns out Becky Petrino can sue her, and here’s how! [...]

  30. avatar Bobbi Lepley says:

    It is just all around messed up, I had told the female now that you know the truth you continue to be part of it you are now just as much in the wrong as he is cause you now know the truth. It’s a devastating discovery that NO one should have to go through, sad thing is the HOME-WRECKER in my situation is really just in for a free-ride. Really makes me want to pursue it with this type of law-suit but have already been through enough hurt don’t want anymore. People are just wrong and it’s unfortunate to us people with hearts and morals.

  31. avatar vindication says:

    26 years destroy in an instant. My wife is a adulterous fool, she has completely destroy her family, the people that she cared for so much cannot even stand to look at her. she has become a liar and a drunk. I fortunately live where this law is still on the books. This creep knowingly and purposely made it a quest to steal my wife from me and to steal my children’s mother from them. He knew full well that I was married, he had been to our home and worked as a sub contractor for the company that my wife works for. When his marriage failed he figure that he needed to pay it forward and destroy another’s marriage. when I spoke to him on the phone he told me that I failed my wife as a husband he then boasted about the sex he was having with my wife and let me know that his pockets are deep and he will be bank roll her to get rid of me. He then told me that I better hope I never cross paths with him because if I do I am dead man, and he was going to kill me. I told him that I would see him in a court room. He just laughed and said that I was a pussy and a coward and this is a battle that I will never win. At least I am not a adulterer, a home wreaker or a liar. I feel that there are to many people that just have absolutely no regard for others. I am hopeful that I get everything in the divorce, My wife said that there are no guarantees in this world and when we got married we said our vows but they were not a guarantee. I said that she was wrong there are guarantees in life. I told her I guarantee that our kids (16 and 18) will never forget that their mother cheated on their father and that their mother destroyed their family and the she will have on her life record that she was an adulterer and that her new relationship only happen by the destruction of her own family. I am a firm believer that good will always prevail over evil, and that we may not be the witness of such justice or a witness to the glory of vengeance, but it will come.

  32. avatar Mrs. Wise says:

    I think the Alienation of. Affection law should exsist in all 50 states!

  33. avatar The Other Woman... says:

    I have a different take on this whole issue….I happen to be ” the other woman”. I did not set out to take anyone’s spouse. We just fell in love. The way I see it…if he was blissfully happy he would not have given me a second thought. You cannot “steal” someone unless they want to be stolen…and even though he is still married to her, he has already left her in his heart, or he would not be with me. Just my opinion.

  34. avatar Paul William says:

    You bunch of backward hillbillies. The old “homewrecker” analogy..laughable.I can just picture a Loertta Lynn type Southern woman yelling at the other lady, ” You stole mah man ya homewrecker!” , while Lil Abner cowers behind his toothless, Nascar Lovin, Grit eatin’ chain smokin wife. People have affairs,people have bad marriages,etc etc. When you get the government involved because to protect your precious holy sacrament, it becomes a joke. Why not bring back witch burning laws, or laws against working on Sunday..oh wait, you Southern Jesus believing rednecks still have that on the books.

  35. avatar abandoned says:

    I live in NC and am so glad I do. 20 years of putting my kids and husband first suddenly found me with no husband, no income, no job, no vehicle, and 4 kids to take care of. He WAS a good man, he was the sole provider and I stayed at home taking care of the family for the entire 20 year marriage. For a man to go from putting his family first and enjoying his days off to suddenly walking out for a single female coworker says quite a bit about character. This woman was told that her “general chats” was a problem and had to stop, yet she continued to talk and text MY husband. When you’re married for so long and have kids to take care of and added financial stress due to a failing economy, anyone can be tempted by the carefree life, but when the woman was told by him that the talking was causing problems she was well aware of the damage being done yet she refused to back off. She saw a good family man and intended to have him for herself. She got him, but who has paid the price? I’ll tell you who……me and 4 kids!!! He walked out after conversing with this homewrecker for only 2 months as if the last 20 years meant nothing. He has been gone for 10 months now and has nothing to do with the kids. He pushed them away, stopped answering their phone calls once the kids started questioning him about his so called friend. He moved out of town and wouldn’t tell anyone where he was living. I hired a PI to find out because I was terrified that he would sign my 10 year old out of school and run off with her. Our 2 older kids went to confront him and they were greeted with a door slam and the police. He sends $350 for me to take care of 5 people. He cost the oldest child financial aid (she sustained a foot injury from the slamming door and was dropped from a class because of missed days) and the middle child had to drop out of school because there wasn’t enough gas money to get him back and forth. And now I have to pay for internet out of the $350 he sends every month so the middle child can get a high school diploma online. And while I’m the one with all the responsibility of taking care of 4 kids and trying to put the pieces of shattered lives back together, where is he? He’s laid up with the trifling, manipulative whore that destroyed a good 20 year marriage, while I’m the one left to find explanations for things that I don’t understand myself! How does a good man suddenly walk out and never look back? How does a good man suddenly loose all concern for the well being of his children and act like they never existed?
    And how do I just pick up the pieces and move on when I am the one who gave up my career to take care of my family, only to be abandoned 20 years later and left with no job, income, and not even a vehicle?
    For all those people who have spoke against suing the other person, you have no idea how devastating it is to have your whole world ripped apart suddenly and without warning.
    I intend to sue this woman for what she has done. My kids and I are the ones who have been thrown away like trash, sacrificed and done without while she has more than benefited. You better believe she is going to pay for her actions!

  36. avatar Furious says:

    Do you people have any idea how many men are in terrible marriages with psychopathic abusive women? That’s right ladies, women are abusers too… And because the scales of justice are tipped too far in favor of women, not only does this law allow those trying to help the man escape the marriage to be sued by these crazies (whether they are a supportive love interest, friend or family member) but further creates a trap that the abused husband cannot free himself from because of the pain and suffering it could cause those helping him. Abusive women also often are believed by law enforcement when they lie and blame their innocent husbands for the abuse! This law only give more power to the lunatic women out there who are already sucking the lives out of their families. How DARE women even think that this law is fair. Only a SICK MIND would think so. Shame on any state that still enforces this law.
    And by the way, just so it is clear, I AM A WOMEN, LADIES.

  37. avatar Carmen says:

    Some of you are crazy to think these homewreckers are not at fault. From personal experience I would know they are. My parents had been married for 15 years. This woman who became my mom’s friend was known by everyone as a whore, and malicious woman who slept with everyone’s husband. My mom had to file for divorce after finding out about her “friend” sleeping with my dad. To kill it off the woman is married and has 3 kids. 2 of which aren’t her husband’s. He knows, but feels sorry for her to leave her.

  38. avatar Tanj says:

    I say sue the other person some people just dont have respect for others relationships. If it is the case where they grow apart wait for the final separation. Remember of how you met them.

  39. avatar BETSEY says:


  40. avatar Look Out Ohio says:

    ‘alienation of affection’ should be renamed and reinstated in all 50 states.
    Without detail, the end of my marriage is due to another married woman, the ex wife. I have documentation of correspondence.
    There shall be accountability for this third person involved, is any way, during another persons marriage.
    Maybe this shall be my new quest: a new law which governs the ‘respect of another’s marriage’.
    Look out;-)

  41. avatar Izabella says:

    My situation is different from all of the above. I had practically a sexless marriage for 18 1/2 years, so I was the adulteress. My husband had filed for divorce since his sister got divorced and wanted same for him + his friend (a girl) was left by her boyfriend so she began visiting often. Than I got ill with cancer and all of a sudden he began pursuing the divorce that he kept postponeding for four years. I have thrown her out of the home twice and had found her texting him about 20 times a day + had written her a letter to stay away for now until it is all over.My husband was awarded 100% of everything and I got 0,was thrown out of my home just like I did her, and was dying from the 8 mo. of cancer treatments living in my car. Now still with no home and second winter approaching I am appealing the judgment and it looks like I will win. I also have found out just a few days ago that a year ago he had put my cat down and that someone had stolen my talking parrot and they were my reason for living. At this point I want him to suffer the consequence of lying in court and destroying my life but the birth will pay also in other way wondering who did it since she had disrespected me, my space and the situation I was in. Unfortunately I have no proof = agree with the law, but not in all cases – depends who is the pursuer but usually I believe is the mates fault and I have made it my mission to make mine suffer by emptying his pockets than I will be able to die.

  42. avatar joyce johnson says:

    I think u should go after the homewrecker u shouldnt have the rught to purpoely knowning go after a married person come on if u knowing go and steal u should pay period thstd whats wrong with people now they dont care they do what ever they want shouldnt be like that the person theyre cheating on ur trying to do harm knowingly they have rights to we should stabd up for these rights and say we have had enough they shoukd pay for it period

  43. avatar diddlydippedindogshit says:

    First off, you all calling people homewreckers, well in my opinion the home was already wrecked if an affair is able to take place. Period. So maybe the homewrecker was you, not the offending spouse. Perhaps you did not meet your spouses needs and they strayed because you were not providing the kind of love a marriage needs to remain strong. Or perhaps the straying spouse is just too weak and self-centered to keep themselves from straying. It doesn’t really matter as far as the third party is concerned the spuse strayed and would have strayed with jim, joe or john. The third party was not the problem and should be be held accountable for the actions of another person. If the husband or wife wants to effect monetary damages on a straying spouse, they should do so on the straying spouse. It is ridiculous that a person that is not implicated in a contract whatsoever can be sued under that contract. That third party never entered into any kind of agreement with anyone and should not be held liable if that contract dissolves. Only the parties involved in that contract should be held liable for dissolution. Period. No other contract allows you to sue a third party for dissolution, why should a marriage contract be different. If the innocent spouse wants to exact revenge, they should exact it on the betraying spouse, not someone that never made any promises to the innocent spouse to begin with. My two cents.

  44. avatar Kristen says:

    As someone who absolutely cannot stand cheaters or the people who help them, I cannot believe the amount of people who think this law is acceptable. Sue your spouse for cheating on you, not the “other wo(man)”. Some people are so damn money hungry. Emotional distress has to be one of the biggest jokes I’ve ever heard, and this law just goes right along with it. Why on earth does anyone think that their spouse cheating on them entitles them to any money from the person they cheated with? Move on with your life and next time you become involved in a relationship make sure your significant other doesn’t have any reason to cheat on you.

  45. avatar drea says:

    Wish they had this law in maryland. I sure have a hoe I would take to the bank After divorcing my husband.

  46. avatar drea says:

    It isn’t about money it’s the principle. Whether or not you made the contract, if you know someone is married you leave them alone. People dont have enough consequences that’s the problem now. Bet they would think twice if they knew they could and would be in court getting a judgment against them. I’m all for it.

  47. avatar Theoden says:

    Unfortunately, since all states have no-fault divorce laws, someone can just leave a marriage, create personal and financial havoc for their spouse and children. Marriages are one of the few contracts that can be unilaterally broken.

    The spouse who is cheating is responsible for the hurt to the marriage, but so is the person having the affair with them. They are harming someone else. It’s called aiding and abetting.

  48. avatar lela says:

    I am definitely for this law, and any woman who actually thinks a man cheats because he is unhappy is a fool. A man cheats for opportunity and it’s the homwreckers that makes it easy because they have no standards.

  49. avatar lulu says:

    I am for this law in all states. Any woman who chases a married man and destroys his marriage and his relationship with his children should have to pay for what she has done. Especially if it is known she has done this before. A woman like this has no morals or standards. Is only out to get what she can especially if the man has money or owns his own business. So don’t sit there an say stuff unless you have been in this situation you have no idea how much it hurts the spouse or children. Its not just the spouse they lefted at home that is hurting so are the children. All of their lives have change because of this homewrecker who is only out for herself doesn’t care she is hurting his children so yes she should pay for the damage she has done to the wife and children.

  50. avatar Goingthruthisnow says:

    Lulu and Lela both of you are absolutely right!! These people commenting that the law is without merit are doing so because they’ve never been in this position. Probably aren’t married. There are women who love sleeping with married men. It’s what they do. Never giving thought to the damage they are inflicting. I know I will get over the hurt but my concern is for my 1yr old daughter who will not grow up in a 2 parent household now. My husband has made it clear it wasnt about me or being unhappy it was because she made it easy. She went after a married man…for fun. Sorry but she needs to be held responsible for the damage caused.

  51. avatar KIM LACY says:

    and people who say that the person who spouse cheats that the needs must have not been getting met is no reason to hurt someone in that manor I have been faithful to this bastard for 16 yrs & i didn’t cheat because i chose not to and he was far from perfect i needed to , should have cheated and i didn’t because I didn’t want that to be part of my character he had an issue where he did not want to wash his ass for three or four days and try to have sex with me but i refused and through that i would run his bath water for encouragement and a couple of other things and i didn’t cheat and to top it off he has the lowest Integrity to cheat with the mother of a child that he coaches ( what a wonderful man)

  52. avatar Cold Hearted says:

    I’m also going through this. My situation involves my marriage of 15 years and my husband had a friend that was supposedly dying of cancer so he would go help him out on the weekends. This friend moved over to the next state and again my husband helped him and his wife move. This so-called friend and his wife were “Swingers” and her and hubby coerced my husband into joining them in their three-somes. This went on for approximately a year. I found some video chat conversations between the wife and my husband and confronted him. He swears this will never happen again, but the trust has been destroyed in our marriage. I think this couple should be responsible, as well as my husband (for now), they are ALL THREE to blame for my pain!

  53. avatar Lady says:

    I am the other woman,… He sought me out… On a website for married people to meet other married people…..
    He was looking for someone else because she stopped giving him what he needed at home….. He had thought of divorce…but the kids were still young and he didn’t want to split up the family… He still doesn’t want to split up the family… And I stand by that decision…
    The wife found out about 18 mos into the affair…
    I was always certain if she found out… He would dump me and I’d be gone….. But it hasn’t turned out that way… He’s told her he refuses to dump me…..
    The lesson lerned here is… Women… Take care of your man… Men do not need much to be happy… Love him mentally and physically…take care of him… Because if you don’t… He will go looking…..
    And at that point… You have no one to blame but yourself

  54. avatar Marty says:

    Yes, go after the woman too. It may not be her fault, but she assisted in the cheating with a married man.

  55. avatar stronger than he thought says:

    Yes, it takes two to tango. But I knew my husband inside and out, for over 18 years. We were planning to have a family, had no major issues, and were happy… until a friend of mine, his subordinate at work, approached him, came on to him. It was taking us forever to get pregnant. Sly innuendos, “oh, maybe she doesn’t want to have a baby” slipped in. Lol. His being ‘taken care of’ wasn’t an issue. But when you’re afraid or worried, you’re susceptible. Every marriage has high points and lows, but the point is that you work through them together. You can’t do that if someone else is inserting themselves into the conversation when you’re not able to. She had all day to work on him on the job. It’s hard to fight that.

    If someone wants to rob a bank, and you help them out, it’s still a crime. And justice ought to be served. I support the alienation laws, wish we had them here. Maybe even expand them to include all culpable parties though. Not for revenge, but for fairness. It’s libel, and breach of contract and trust. Whatever lies she spat, whatever she told him to convince him leaving was a good option, it’s a contract broken. I love the man, but he wasn’t the type to jump into the unknown without someone pushing him. I worry, because I know her too. She was a good friend at one point. And a few months or years from now, she’ll probably use him up and spit him out, just like she did with her husband. The morning he left for work, still telling me he loved me, then that evening, coming home with some story about not being happy- the exact same story she told her husband? Even with the same phrasing? Please.

    I’m better off now that I’ve seen him for what he is, and her for the same. And I pity them both, because they’ve destroyed what they admired about each other with their actions lately. Why do some marriages last 70 years? Because the partners didn’t give up. Yes, I did stupid stuff. I admitted it, apologized, was forgiven. Supposedly. We all do stupid things from time to time. It takes two to make it work too, and mine gave up without a backward glance, leaving me and our unborn child with all the responsibility. Caused a bit too much stress for a little one to take though, and I lost her. Maybe it’s for the best, I don’t know. But I wonder… had there been some actual consequences for breaking vows, contracts, breaching trusts… would it have made a difference? Would there be less people doing it?

    Had it been common knowledge that if she did something so stupid as to approach a married man, she could be sued for all she was worth- would it have made a difference? I don’t know. But I do know that these days, people don’t bat an eye at getting a divorce, or even at causing one. It should be just as legally binding as any other contract. Break your nondisclosure agreement at work, and just watch the paperwork fly. You’ll probably go broke on legal fees alone. Break someone’s heart, destroy a family or two, break contracts and promises and get to leave free and clear? Sure, it’s easy for them to move on. Those left behind can’t. The broken are the ones left to deal with the consequences. Laws are made to impose order on society, and to protect the people from those who would hurt others. I don’t see how this kind of hurt is any different.

  56. avatar nurse.consultant says:

    If more states would allow this type of lawsuit, perhaps individuals would pause and think before they cheat on their spouse or engage in adultery with the cheating spouse. Perhaps the threat of the cheater and the cheater/lover being sued would deter adultery and more families would be intact. If you are a spouse or “the other one” and there are children involved, remember this…you are cheating with a person who is willing to harm not only your spouse, but your children too. Adultery hurts families and those who choose to participate should also own the consequences when they get caught. All states should allow the victim spouse to sue not only the cheater spouse but any participants in the breakup of the family.

  57. avatar Ann Seamless says:

    To the one that said it takes two yes that is true but u said the law ridiculous and to get over it and move on with your life well either you have never experienced this or your a homewreaker yourself if your married and have kids with a man and another woman comes along and pursues him knowing he has a family she should be sued!!!!!!!!!”

  58. avatar gale says:

    Yes sue.I know it is between husband and wife.But if the other person know that they are married and still chose to have a relationship with the married person.I say sue.Because if our car was parked in the yard or on the street and she bust a window she would have to pay for it that is contract with me and my husband name on it.On a marriage it his name and mine and she enter into it and cost harm to my marriage.I don’t care if there was problem in the marriage.She just made the problem worst.If the problem is that bad get out of the marriage.Them go find you a girlfriend.No one should enter into a marriage.If there was a law that charge you for every time you when outside of your marriage to have affair and charge both of them for the marriage affair him and his girlfriend.If there was a fine you had to pay for having a affair with a married person.I don’t think there would be many affairs.If you chose to have affair 250.00 each time and the fine get higher if you don’t stop the affair or get a divorce.

  59. avatar FA says:

    I love how everyone’s belitting the wives who get positively wrecked from the inside out by their men and the other woman… didn’t try hard enough! Don’t you think it’s hard to try when you don’t even know there’s a problem because your husband is too chickenshit to even talk to you? You still want to paint him as a henpecked woobie?

    And yes, they are called homewreckers for a reason. We’re not talking about women who didn’t know or weren’t the aggressors.

    When we say homewreckers we are talking about women who actively seek out and destroy marriages.

    They choose to get involved with men they know are married. It’s all a big game to them. They have ZERO remorse or empathy.

    They take what they want and sometimes, to make sure you stay out of the picture, they help plot to kill you.

  60. avatar what to do? says:

    A home wrecker should be sued and this should be recognized in all states. Someone needs to be held accountable but if not in court I will settle for a higher power. This home wrecker not only destroyed my family knowing he was married and befriending me clearly made it some joke to her. He is the fool but it doesn’t end there. She has manipulated him into thinking we can’t get along for the children. My being friendly means I want to get back with him. Why would I want someone who treated me like this and abandoned our children? Leaving the woman doesn’t mean you have to leave your children. What kind of woman or man can live with themselves after creating havoc on others lives? Revenge….no, I thank her so showing me exactly how weak and selfish he really is and continues to show. So many blessings have come my way since he is no longer in my home. Good luck to all of you who are victims of selfish, self centered losers. I wish this was a law in Georgia because I would sue the dreaded miserable stinking dog.

  61. avatar Martha says:

    its time to take a stand if your not happy with eachother lives than get a divorce and move on but when a homewreckers is involved than its time to take action not only on your spouse but the homewrecker…. so listen up all you HOMEWRECKERS not only am I’m sueing my spouse but his homewrecker as well. BE AWARE of us >:/ there would not be many divorce if these witches or bastards keep their pants on.

  62. avatar Victimized says:

    Does anyone know any good lawyers that will file this lawsuit. I am mainly interested in the state of illinois.
    This woman (ob/Gyn) went out of her to seduce my husband of 23 years. he has since abandonned me and our two teenage children. She uses her money to buy him gifts and gives him thousands of dollars each week.

  63. avatar Simply said says:

    There are several situation that can occur that people become unfaithful in marriage. What happens when a person was unaware of the marriage and your morals are compromised without you having had a say so in the situation? Should that person be considered a homewrecker and liable to be sued? The truth of the matter is people are selfish and only care about their own needs, no matter who gets hurt!! Once someone has entered into a relationship with someone else and feelings get involved, it’s not easy to just walk away. Morally it’s the right thing to do, however it’s still not.

  64. avatar BMae says:

    I think the law is fair. I have in-laws who came into my home when they heard my husband had cancer. Within 10 days of them moving into my home they destroyed my marriage, family and finances. All to promote a relationshiip that brought memories of my husbands dead sister who happen to contact him on face book a week he was told he had cancer. They all call it a “A wink from God”. These women provided the comupter with facebook and told him what to say to this women he meet as a teenager while visiting his now deseased sister when he was 15. They even help pick out a song for the new couple. Since this invasion they destroyed my husband’s relationship with our son.

  65. My husband is as much to blame as the dirty scum female she knew we were marrried but she would not leave him alone she kept stalkng him she literaly would not leave us alone we had only been married for seventeen months!!$ I hate her so much!!! And yes him also! Im bitter and loveless because of it and its been almost six years!

  66. avatar Tnicoll says:


  67. avatar sacrificeforlove says:

    My opinion is if you are a homewrecker you should know there are consequences that come with being involved with a married man. Most married couples have a family, sons, daughters etc.. That get dragged into this affair. Its not fair to the children. Its not morally right that a person can intentionally have an affair with someone’s husband or take away a child’s father. As far as suing a homewrecker I am all for alienation of affection. I would love to see this law come in affect to the state of Cali.

  68. avatar deceived for to long says:

    I have been married for almost 10 years to a man I have never hurt, ignored, or not taken care of. I have put him before myself always during this whole relationship. I always made sure he was happy, had what he needed, and was there to support him in every way possible. When I read the comments some people leave here about it being the wife’s fault for not taking care of her man as they put it I am so angry. My husband as well as everyone around us would back up every statement I just made. My point to this is I am a great wife and mother yet a home wrecking witch came in and my husband who is not an innocent in this either fell for everything she played out. After I found out about the affair I learned from people that she has been with other married men too. I feel that this is a game for her like she thinks I can get away with it so why not. In my opinion people like this that have no morals or values instilled in them should be held accountable for there actions. When you make a habit out of purposely going after married men who have children you are a sick individual who has something seriously wrong with you. This girl nor my husband have no idea the amount of hurt they have done not only to my marriage but also to my children and myself. He begs me not to leave an claims she was a huge mistake but the damage has been done and I just don’t think i can ever look at him the same again. A mistake can change your life as well as everyone around you forever and I agree with other people on here that say if people who commit infidelity had to answer for their actions maybe more people would think twice about carelessly sleeping around. I believe the vows of marriage are taken to casual in today’s world and it makes me wonder if cheating spouses even ever meant to honor those commitments they promised too. Anyway my point is cheating spouses most of the time have no other reason for doing it other than they wanted too an they thought they could get away with it. Morals do not weigh in on them just as they did not with my husband until the destruction was done, the agony I feel may ease as time goes on but the thought of my husband an this woman never sharing the pain, humiliation, and disrespect I felt makes me know that stricter laws should be enforced for adultery.

  69. avatar betrayed says:

    I have been married for 17 years. I had a beautiful marriage with 2 sons. We both were loving and caring couple. I thought we were a soul mate until his high school girl friend found him on Facebook. She started commenting and sending private messages. My husband was very poor and came from dysfunctional family so she betrayed him after graduated from high school. I put him through college and made him successful. Once she found out that he is successful then she started to sweet talk him. I called her to let her know that she is braking up my marriage and she needed to stay away. She responded, no. She immediately got divorced after her emotional affair with my husband. My husband moved out of the house after her divorce. It has been a year since my husband filed for divorce. I found out that they were at Hilton on Thanksgiving week. She lives in Texas and there is no Alienation of Affection law. It drastically changed my life and my boy’s life. My son’s grades dropped from A’s to D’s. We all depressed and going counseling. It took a toll out of me and my boys. The pain has been excruciating. It feels like tsunami hit our family. I would never ever wish this pain on anybody. She left a husband who was diagnosed with cancer. I felt humiliated, violated and betrayed. I wish I could bring the law suit against her. She basically ruined my family’s life. She has nursing license in Houston, Texas. I wish this law was reinforced in every state. I am not giving up on suing her. She is struggling financially and I just want to teach her a lesson. My lawyer wants to sue her regardless.

  70. avatar L says says:

    I truly agree that this law should be enforced in all states nationwide. I have been married for 23 years and have 3 boys. My husband have never really had any steady jobs nor supported me financially the way he should have. He finally acquired a job at MV Transportation here in Los Angeles and then started a adulteress affair with a woman on his job. He slowly started moving out his things and yes she knew that he was married. She wants his money. I am filing for divorce. His little affair will not last, however the consequences for him will be life long when I am through with him!!!

  71. avatar Mb says:

    Finding out about my wife’s affair and her leaving me for him were the worst things that ever happened to me. My children suffered, I couldn’t preform at work and lost my job,counseling bills,child support,ect I support the law.

  72. avatar Lori says:

    This law should be available and legal in all 50 states.
    Should I ever be in this situation, it will be my sole direction to hire an attorney and sue for Alienation of Affection here in Illinois. To all of you out there in this situation: Chin up!

  73. avatar Sabrina Abbott says:

    The first comment where someone said the victims should “get over it” sounds like the words of the woman who’s livelihood as she knows it I am going to liquidate for doing this very thing to my new marriage. Hell yes! Take the whores DOWN!!!

  74. avatar PATTI says:

    A “hore”wrecker cheats with any man that will make her feel good about her own self, period. She needs a man in order to make herself feel good, unlike a confident wife who has many responsibilities to handle and relies on her husband to have the maturity to confide in his wife and not a third party, if he becomes dissatisfied in the marriage. The wife trusts in her husband. That is what marriage is about. Put Christ in your marriage from Day 1 and you won’t be looking to the courts for revenge. God is our vindicator. Also, some marriages are going thru periods of a disabled spouse or parent. It has nothing to do with a spouses sexual performance or “their” happi-ness. Put Christ first and their will be NO OPPORTUNITY for a “hore”wrecker. Stop comparing yourselves, it only makes you sound desperate and pathetic.

  75. avatar June says:

    The whore needs to be taken down. I’ve been married for 24 years in September . I just found out my husband is having an affair with a slut that I have always been suspicious of. I can’t believe he fell for the enemy. Worst part about it is she is married and claims to love her good husband to no end but she is out having sex with my weak ass husband. You know the saying men think with the other head. I am loving this law and might pursue it once I get my husband for crushing my life. Never get comfortable with any man because these women know what it takes to get one of these weak men. I going to take her down for wrecking my life and think her husband deserves to know who’s private parts she’s putting in her mouth.

  76. avatar Peter says:

    The law was designed to teach the person outside of the marriage, that contributed to the affair a lesson not used for revenge. The law needs to be upheld in all states to keep people doing the right thing. If you are not happy then get a divorce, do not cheat that solves nothing. If you are being pursued by a married person then the law might be the incentive you need to keep from contributing to the break up of a marriage. If the spouse is not happy then wait for them to get a divorce don’t help get them divorced. That is selfish on your part. Its people that cheat make the spouse that didn’t cheat feel worthless. When in reality it the cheating spouse that is the worthless one. Anyone that would contribute to an affair in any form just has no moral values and deserves to be taught a lesson to keep them from doing it again.

  77. avatar Anonymous says:

    I like this because it isn’t so easy to move on. If you are a father with kids you get reamed in the court financially and it is not your fault. So why not help the guy pay the bills. If you want to sleep with my wife then pay up.

  78. avatar Tired of stupid stuff says:

    What I find interesting is that most people in favor of this law are bitter wives with cheating husbands. I think all of your hatred, hurt and disgust should be with your creating husband. You can go through life with these frivolous lawsuits trying to set revenge with the outside person if you want. But chances are if he cheated then he’ll continue to cheat. Are u going to sue each woman or are you going to realize he will not be faithful? Are u going to get a backbone and leave the marriage. Whst u thought was real is not because he changed the dynamics of your reality. When will you hold your husbands accountable? And what about the men actively pursuing affairs? You all need to check your men. Go after the woman if she purposely came for your husband (which so many times that is NOT the case and it is he doing the pursuing).Come for her AFTER you’ve dealt with your husband st the same level.Remember HE is the one with the commitment to you. Your anger, the vast majority of it, should be with him.

  79. avatar Jezebell#Rebuker says:

    It’s no wonder this country is going down. When a country, family, or organization loses order, Satan can enter and destroy the world. We need to get something started to have the law passed in every state. This isn’t for the sake of the wife, but the family. It is obvious that there are a lot of people who like morals and fill it’s ok to assist in destroying family. Sad Jezebells. I does take 2, but if the homewrecker wasn’t in the picture how do we not know that a marriage was meant to last. It was Eve that satan used to corrupt Adam. And it is written the ought the bible that the spirit within woman caused the down fall of many man in the bible. So if she allows satan to use her to create division between a husband and wife, she need to be dealt with. The law suit should be her scarlet letter. Let’s get a petition started to let homewreckers know we are serious about family.

  80. avatar Hollie Davis says:

    Been married 27yrs. last 8 yrs my health went to hell in a hand basket. I have 1 son at hm under age of 15. Last 2 years my spouse cheated on our marriage with a homewrecker that has a history of hopping from one married man to another. She was a “acquaintance” of some friends of ours.She knew exactly what she was doing! This took a toll not only on me but our son as well. At times he “lied” about so called trips for various reasons and our son was left to grow up faster than he should have to help me. In circumstances as this YES the homewrecker should be sued! An I plan to do just that.

  81. avatar Barbara says:

    I think this law should be enforced in all 50 states AND include family members who alienate the affection of their siblings towards the siblings spouse! I have a similar, yet totally different situation! My husband’s sister has been a manipulative controlling force in her brother’s (my husband’s) life from day one. I honestly thought once we were married, she would gravitate more to her boyfriend/fiancĂ© and leave her brother to nurture his own marriage. WRONG!! The mother-in-law constantly reminded my husband that’s he needed to help his sister with EVERYTHING under the sun…. “Help Joan with the children”, “Joan’s faucet is leaking, can you fix it for her”, etc. even though she had her own husband! (“David doesn’t have time to do that, he’s too busy at work” ~> even though MY husband works just as many hours and they can definitely afford to hire someone to “help poor Joan”! As the years went on, sis-in-law had to either do everything we did, or top whatever we did…. from houses to cars to kids to even a bigger (and BETTER!) swimming pool. She also interfered in every aspect of our child-rearing, despite my objections. Both she and her husband have tried to buy off my three sons (they have 5 children of their own, BTW) by always out doing us on holidays, birthdays, etc. When we have said no to prospective gifts, they go behind our backs and “gift” our children any way! This has been driving a wedge between my husband and myself for over a decade because “no” doesn’t mean “no” to them, and my husband can’t (won’t) put his sister & brother-in-law in their place. This has all come to a head, with my two oldest sons (22 & 19) siding with their aunt on yet ANOTHER matter which she went around us to do, and them screaming at ME because I have an issue with their aunt’s constant meddling- actually threatening to move out/live on campus). Four of her own children have moved away to get out from under her controlling ways (25, 24, 22 & 19…. The youngest is 15 and still in HS at home). I have had enough of the controlling ways, psylogical bullying by her, lack of support from MY husband as far as controlling her, and now the alienation of my own children. Keep in mind we all went to the same specialized high school in NYC and we are all college graduates….. she has a license to practice dentistry and he has a jewelry business! I am about to divorce this whole dysfunctional clan, and would LOVE to nail her with a lawsuit for destroying my family life! My husband and I have been married for 29 years – me to him, and him to her!

  82. avatar Kellee says:

    As a matter of fact Alienation of Affection is certainly a means by which negligent spouses are still obligated to honour the sanctity of marriage and respect their financial and moral obligations to wives/husbands and dependent children.This serves as a deterrent to all homewreckers who will intentionally pursue and otherwise cause an originally faithful spouse to go astray and to mistreat their spouses or neglect their familial obligations. This law must never be abolished but must stand definite for all times…only homewreckers themselves will seek to support its abolition. It must not be used however, as personal vengeance but to simply to preserve the sanctity of marriage and spouses moral/emotional and financial well-being.

  83. avatar Nina says:

    I would definitely sue if this law were available in my state. The other woman relentlessly pursued my husband, granted he was a weak jerk and fell for her advances. I told her repeatedly to stay out of my marriage, and she would go as far as to help him to cover his lies, so that she could continue the relationship without any distractions. Even attempted to get a peace order against me. But thank God for the Internet, I posted her face and my story on, now she can live with this shame for the rest of her live. Justice served!

  84. avatar Patty Byrd says:

    I was married for going on 29 years. My husband and me got along good. He flirted a lot and he was flirting with a few girls at work one I knew of he told me about he liked her and was telling her our problems. Instead of talking to me about our problems he would just tell me everything will be ok. Well the lady told him to quit flirting with him and to work it out with me and he didn’t want to here that. The other lady that was flirting with him he told me about said she was gross and fat and made a ugly face. But this woman paid attention to him so he started talking to her more and they started seeing one another. Me and my husband were suppose to go see someone to work on our marriage but we made love and he said everything is fine and we don’t need to go see him. So he told me to cancel and I did but I kept my apt with my own and told her. My husband wouldn’t talk to me said all will be fine. I wanted to go find a church for our family, have him take showers everyday, brush his teeth everyday, wear normal clothes other then work clothes. When he started to see her he did all that! I wasn’t asking much I wanted to make our marriage happier spend time together. Now I lost him! I pray to Jehovah I get him back and I can change the lying and stealing and get her out of his mind I think our lives could be better and get Jehovah in his heart. I am in love with him so much I am disabled and she has told him he can not see our children or my family because they are my family. I am wondering if I can go after her for destroying my marriage? can anyone help me?

  85. avatar Diana Lia says:

    Definitely yes. A marriage is a legal and socially recognized union. Anyone who interferes between a married couple should be legally persecuted for having an active role in destroying a family.

  86. avatar Brenda says:

    I am going through it now. We have been married for 16yrs. I never though he would do that to me. I didn’t work for a while, then I got tired of staying at home. No small children. When I started working that changed everything. He was telling me I was seeing someone or the men was talking to me. That was when trouble started when I went to work. No he is a Paramedic see females all the time and talks. The hoe he was seeing was a Paramedic also, they worked at the same place. What is it about the uniforms. Don’t know how long they seen each other. While I was at work they were seeing each other. Well they both said they were just going to coffee. They had coffee alright. She got pregant, it took her 13yrs to find out who the baby’s daddy was. She left went back to her first husband lived with him for yrs in Florida. She came back to Tennessee. Had to have alot of men tested. And yes she was his, they look just alike. The test was 999999.9%. He told me he did not know her lied about everything. She and there daughter came to my store, so the daughter and father could meet. Really after 13yrs, and she has her first ex-husband last name and she calls him dad. That is when she started running her mouth. She let me know how muched she cares for him, how good looking he is and how much she love him. She told her daughter all about him and wanted them to meet. She need he was married. She also said she did not know she could get pregant. Now this hoe is in her mid to lat 30′s. She did not know she could get pregant. Also said there daughter has Ashburg which is Autism. That she doesn’t talk, well when her and her dad meet the first time, that was all they did. She draws, makes all kinds of things. Goes to public school and summer camp, on swim team. That she the mother saying this about her daughter having ashburg. Now the mother told me she had to file bankrupt 2 times, she needs money. They had to go to court, she tried to or wanted to take my store or get money from that plus get back child support from time the child was born till now whic is 13yrs back money. That didn’t happen, she got some back support from time he had to take dna to court time. Told judge they (daughter and dad) can see each other anytime. That was a lie, she calls, text wantes him to come to her house so they can see him. We are still having problems. We went counselor, I went back he did not said I just need to get over it let it go move on. Well that is hard for me to do, for us making love that is out. That makes me sick I think about them being together and having a child. Both of them were stupid because of no save sex, they didn’t know anything about that. Really the kids in elementry now days most knows where babys come from. And he was stupid because most of the paramedic had been with her before and after. The rule is tell a gram, telephone, tell a medic. I fell so hurt, despressed, alone, I have cryed told him to get out. The one thing I want to do she make her pay for what she did and still doing. She is still not fixed works at the hospital at Lifeforce dispatch. Still go after other men and goes to bars pick them up, Been married 3 or 4 times. Have other daughters by different fathers. But the one is stupid is the first ex cause he still pays for this last daughter which he knows is not his, and she gets money from the father, but not getting to see her with out mother. Oh she also told another man he was the father of her daughter, they got married, he went got a dna test after she was born. He told her he was not the father and divorced her, his best friend had to go take a dna to prove she was not his either.
    So I think this law should be in every state.Hoe like her
    needs to be taken down. Then they need to take the husband down also. If anyone has any answers let me know. I am still fighting have not given up.

  87. avatar Rhonda says:

    I have been married almost 21 years and 7 years ago my husband had an affair with a nasty stripper. I forgave him and took him back. I just found out 4 days ago that he yet again has been having an affair with a woman for over a year. Both knew he was married. He left taking most of our belongings and the business we built together. He told me he would

  88. avatar Rhonda says:

    Still pay my bills because she has money. When I get done she’ll have a lot less. He’s took things that belong to me and gave her like my Harley Davidson. It was custom built and he has his own so let her buy her one. Yesterday he assaulted me then called the cops on me. Which he’s friends with. You damn straight I will sue her. A year of an affair and he leaves me high and dry. He also knows that I’m disabled.

  89. avatar anonymous says:

    This law should apply in all 50 states!! You would less divorce…women who dont care that they help ruin a marriage MAY think twice….and the husbands who are macho idiots, MAY think twice…I say its a win win for the innocent victom of infidelity!!! BRING back alienation of affection law!!!!

  90. avatar Denise says:

    Mine was the third of her sister’s husbands that she got her claws into. And, in my case, it was definitely intentional sabotage. I would love to know how to prove her malicious intent and have her finally held accountable for her actions.

  91. avatar Jennifer says:

    As I am reading everyone’s response I just can’t fathom why the spouse who has put in all the effort to make a marriage work be subjected in thinking it is her fault her husband stepped out. I am sorry yes i tend to be a nagging wife and a bitch at times but i prefer talking things out which my husband prefers to keep things bottled up. He says its hard to communicate with me so i guess that gives him the right to talk to the opposite sex behind my back and discuss our marriage with them giving them free range to givebhim advice and weezle their way in his life, uh hell no.Been married to my husband for 6 years and he’s been sleeping on the couch and watching porn and talking to other women at night. Come to find out he’s been doing this for over a year while I am thinking everything is all good. He has been requesting naked pictures and telling them all kinds of lies like he will support them financially. I went through his phone saw all the evidence of this and felt sick to my stomach. Texted and called the women some said they are sorry and wouldn’t communicate with him while others cussed me out saying that my husband is a friend and if he requested naked pictures that they would deliver and that it was illegal for me his wife to go through his phone and emails. Let me explain something as a wife who takes care of the home and kids you have a right to protect your family and marriage. These bitches have some nerve thinking that they can disrespect me the way they do and get away with it they have another thing coming. And then when you tell them to back of they want to threaten you with harassment when your telling them to back off and stop communicating with your husband. Now I admit he has been communicating with them and as a wife I am doing my best to deal with him on this issue and finally got him to agree to go to counseling but he feels it’s a waste of time and money. My husband is a workaholic and doesn’t know how to enjoy time with his family and with his job there is stress and having to come home to more stress I understand why he’s finding outlets but he’s going about it the wrong way. Right now he’s playing me for a fool by *69 and dialing who ever he wants to talk to without me knowing about it saying a private number called him when I know it’s this bitch calling him private and he calls her back private to throw me off. I know he deletes the text messages he sends out to these women and just has there’s left and shows it to me to make it seem like they are texting him and he’s not responding to them. So he’s continue to lie to me. But as a wife I have been taught that divorcing shouldn’t be the first option but fighting for your marriage. I love my husband can’t trust his lying ass but I will do whatever it takes to put him on the right path to rightiousness. It’s easy to divorce that’s what the devil wants and we are quick to give in. I am not giving in and I will go after any woman who feels she has a right to my husband and I will put his life through hell as long as he wants to continue to play these games. He will eventually get tired and he will either divorce me which I will remind him I will take his ass for everything he’s got or he can chose to get help for issues he’s hasn’t been able to deal with so that we can fix whatever has been broken. It will have ever take a long time to get through this rough time we are going through but nothing was meant to be easy especially marriage it takes a lot of work according to the elders who have all been in our shoes and have made the ultimate decision of staying married. Besides who the hell wants to start over in their 30s after building a family with a man house, cars, pets, kids, I mean splitting all of this up would the hardest part especially the pets we have. Do we share them like the kids? Just my thoughts on the matter.

  92. My husband has alienated any form of affection, kindness or sex. I am an attractive woman, well educated. We have been married 40 yrs. he says I am fat & old, yet sees other couples whose wives are obese, old yet they have strong sexual relations. So I blamed myself & my once vibrant & confident self is withering. I must be ugly but other men want me. I am not unfaithful. He is a handsome man & has had low libido since 18. Now it’s worse + he has become mean.
    I doubt there is another woman.
    After reading an article here about Narcissistic husbands, it was as tho I wrote it!
    I live in NC & feel there is no choice but Divorce. Are there other articles that I should read? Heartbroken in NC , Elaine

  93. avatar just wanted to know says:

    Can a person sue another person for alienation of affection even if that person is not the mistress but was a major influence in the marriages deterioration? In any state?

  94. avatar Kim says:

    Those defending AOA aren’t putting responsibility on cheating spouse. Cheaters are always looking to cheat. AOA just gives the cheater a means to cheat their spouse out of settlement.

    Cheaters are smart enough to mislead their spouse & point them in direction of AOA to avoid paying settlement, attorney fees, child support, & to protect their lover or string of lovers.

    Lawyers jump on AOA fast! They will extort anyone they think would pay up.

    In my case, the cheating husband targeted me because I looked like his girlfriend, & we both from Madison. We did date briefly. I was lead to believe he was divorced. Later found out his divorce not final & requested copy of divorcee papers.

    Months later, I’m sued for AOA. The cheating husband weaved story so his wife suspected I was cause of divorce instead of the girlfriend.

    The wife’s lawyer sued me premature; however, & when they realized I wasn’t the right woman, things got very bizarre.

    Over past several years their divorce settlement has centered around getting money from me. The girlfriend isn’t worth going after.

    The husband’s extortion threats have become progressively dangerous to point restraining order was necessary.

    The cheating husband wants me to pay his divorce settlement while he moved on with his girlfriend. His wife & attorney focus on me because they think they’ve hit jackpot although they know I’m not the right person.

    His wife admitted he pushed her into the AOA lawsuit for settlement to take focus off him. But he influences her lawyer to focus on me for their divorce settlement & attorney fees instead of him.

    Although I’m innocent, it’s been hell to fight. AOA sets up abuse of process. It’s a tort for sinners not christians.

  95. avatar Ann says:

    I met this man at work three years ago. We would met passes at each other at work. We started going out for lunch together. We would talk about his children. His children lived with his ex wife. I have children of my own. Prior to dating this man I did a background check on him to see if he was a child predator. Nothing came up. I asked him if he was married he told me no. We had been dating for over five months. I would go by his house and I saw female belonging there. He told me the things there belong to his daughter. He have a big daughter so I thought nothing of it. I knew his children from a previous marriage would come by on the weekend to spend time with him. I sometime had a gut feeling something wasn’t right. I would ask him over again he told me no. He told me trust his he only had and loved me alone. We had sexual relationships in my house and his. We would speak on the phone late nights. He would call me every morning. A couple of days ago a friend send me evidence to that he has been married. My Ex husband cheated on me in our home so you can only imagine how much it’s hurts finding out about this now. I confronted him and he still insisted that he wasn’t married. I threatened him that If he didn’t come clean and tell me the truth. I would find a way to ask this woman myself. I would not do that even if I could. I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy. He decided to come clean and admitted he is married. I have ended whatever I thought we had. I am saying this because sometime the third party have been mislead with lies by a cheating spouse. I think if anyone find themselves in my situation just get out as fast as you can. A charter is a charter if it’s not you it will be someone else that’s what cheaters do they cheats. Women or men if you have a cheating spouse hurt him where ever it hurts. Don’t soft the blame. And if the third party won’t leave your married after being wormed…. then you have all right because they knew of you.

  96. avatar unreal says:

    If the marriage wasn’t already broken, the Cheating Spouse wouldn’t be out there looking. Many of these Cheating spouses LIE and say they are separated when they are NOT. That is my situation. When I found out I dumped him, and told his wife. They stayed and are staying together. I live 5,000 miles away and its 3 YEARS later and now she wants to sue me?!?! Is this a joke? Take it out on your cheating spouse people, it is the cheating spouse who deserves your anger. No woman can make a man’s tongue fall into her mouth etc. There ARE Cheaters who lie and unsuspecting people like me who get tricked by them

  97. I am so tired of his garbage.He lies more than anyone that I know.The person/witch next door is an obvious conversation, of course about me.etc etc etc.Can he be caught and he too and be sued? LaVonne.

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