Ahh, Facebook. During the many hours I spend on Facebook, I sometimes come across things I really shouldn’t see. For instance, there’s no need for me to see personal arguments play out on Facebook in angry status updates specifically directed to someone, and then retaliatory comments upon that.

At times, my friends have confided in me about hurt feelings when their friend(s) don’t share the same Facebook etiquette as they do — like when someone has supciously de-friended them or refused to answer their messages. What I say to those friends is that Facebook is not a reflection of real life. Different Facebook users have different habits, so there’s no real way to normalize behavior into standard expectations for all.

That being said, one standard of expectation that can be applied to the virtual world of social media is to not break the law. Crimes committed on Facebook do result in real consequences.

Therefore, Facebook should not be used for:

• Coercion – when someone is compelled to do an act contrary to his/her will: 19 year old Anthony Stancl was just sentenced last week to 15 years in prison for deception and coercion  by pretending he was a female and having 31 male classmates send nude pictures to him. Stancl threatened to release the nude photos to their high school if the boys didn’t  perform sexual acts for him.
• Harassment – repeated, intrusive, or unwanted acts, words, or gestures that are intended to adversely affect the safety, security, or privacy of another, regardless of the relationship between the actor and the intended target: Jessica Zamora-Anderson had her ex-boyfriend Paul Franco arrested last week after he took her “Facebook account hostage, changed her sexual preference to gay, and demanded cash for her profile’s safe return.”

While it’s certainly disheartening to see some use Facebook for malicious intent, it is refreshing to see that real consequences can and do apply to the virtual crimes some may commit. In fact, Facebook is proving to be such a beacon of safety for some that its even helping preempt nonexistent crimes. Just yesterday, Ardsley School District in New York shut down for the day when a parent called the authorities after viewing another student’s post that stated “combine” and “revenge”. It turns out that “’combine’ is not an abbreviated version of Columbine, but an in-school competition for members of the football team scheduled for [Monday].” Nevertheless, authorities thought it would be wise to allow enough time to conduct a thorough investigation, so they erred on the side of safety and closed the schools.

When logging on to social networking sites like Facebook with an axe to grind, here are a couple of things to consider before you strike:

1. It’s not wise to threaten or harass another user through Facebook. If you’re using your real name, you can be caught and prosecuted. Or, if you’re using an alias, your IP address can provide your whereabouts to authorities.
2. Facebook has an entire section under their Security terms about “Reporting abuse on Facebook”. Clearly, this has happened enough times for them to create some guidelines to help victims of Facebook abuse.

Although social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter seem to be good places for consumers to vent their frustrations about airlines, businesses, or media, it’s not proving to be the best place to air personal grievances with real-life friends or enemies. If a “friend” upsets you that much, then simply block or hide them, and maybe you can civilly salvage your relationship offline.

Posted by Adrienne on March 2, 2010 at 1:12pm.